I’ll keep calling you “my dear diary” until I get any indication that I’m writing to an audience – likes, comments, anything. At least the site should be ready and the blog should finally get published.

So, hello, my dear diary. About three weeks ago, as soon as I had the book translated, I sent the translated manuscript to about a hundred literary agents who specialize in selling books to film and TV productions.

You have to understand, it didn’t happen overnight, but over time I developed what were probably unrealistic, dreamy expectations of becoming a bestseller and moving to a Netflix or Apple TV production. I kept thinking of myself as the authentic, interesting, and successful version of Call Me by Your Name.

After all, if that boring story achieved such success, why shouldn’t an authentic, gritty work based on a true story succeed on at least the same scale, if not more? I envisioned myself as a global phenomenon, at the very least.
And this time, it’s not just my shaky grip on reality and psychiatric diagnoses at work. My friends haven’t done anything to bring me back down to earth either. From all of them – even my esteemed senior editor, Dr. Matan Harmoni – I’ve heard that The Path of Flesh is bound for dizzying success.

Meanwhile, I’m stuck with a sales report that won’t budge and category rankings that drift away from me each day, despite all the new feedback. How the hell did people manage to leave unverified reviews? How did they even get their hands on the book?

Because if we go by the feedback, that’s actually a very optimistic sign: over a hundred readers have discovered the book and started what will soon become a phenomenon.

#Borderline
Understand this: I must succeed. I’ve been through hell in life. Anyone who read the book knows it – they know I deserve this. I’m 41 years old, I’ve suffered greatly, and I’ve worked my ass off – so one of these two things simply has to succeed: either my business venture (the one I started in 2019 for my reader community) or this book, which is the project of my life. Its success is the meaning of my existence. Nothing less.

No need to spell out what I’d prefer. For now, reality is mapping out unpredictable scenarios for the future of both the venture and the book.

Today we kicked off a “sale” – the book is free. Suddenly it’s finally jumped to 12 orders after a month stuck at just 2. Brilliant strategy, selling it for free, right? And then Friedman has the nerve to tell me that I mustn’t raise the price to the one I think the book deserves, all so it can climb higher in the categories and sell more. Cheap it is , the story of my life.

Today or tomorrow we’ll be launching a PPC campaign and spreading the word about the book through LGBTQ literature newsletters and bloggers interested in queer literature. And yes, I wrote those words just now for SEO purposes.
Thanks for listening,
– I wonder how much time will pass between writing this blog and actually publishing it –
Good night,
Oz